Emotional Mastery – How to manage your landscape of emotions.
We're human, everyone experiences different emotions and feelings at various times in our lives that are amazing while others are uncomfortable & unpleasant.
Did you know that we each experience at least 8 feelings and that these feelings last approx. 90 sec, yet sometime feels like a life time!
There is a great article from Dr.Joan Rosenberg sharing how to embrace unpleasant feelings, in such a way that you can move more effectively and swiftly through them, as they all have a beginning, a middle and an end. Feelings can eb anything from mild to intense, yet last 90 sec tops!
She shares her Formula on this Ted Talk
1. Choice
2. We have EIGHT Feelings
3. NINETY seconds
1. Choice is to stay present. Its about been in touch with your moment experience, Its all about awareness, not avoidance!
It’s harder to keep emotions down then you realise.
It takes, WILLINGNESS, FORMULA and a DECISION to be in Emotional Mastery
2. How to handle EIGHT unpleasant Feelings such as SADNESS, SHAME, HELPLESSNESS, ANGER, VUNLERABILITY, EMBARASSMENT, DISSAPOINTMENT & FRUSTRATION.
Most of us experience these as bad or negative, but there not! They are unpleasant & Uncomfortable feelings!
So why do we want to avoid these feelings?
Maybe it’s because your worries that what you might experience would be too much, too overwhelming or too Intense, or maybe, we will lose control or completely go out of control.
When you allow yourself to experience your feelings, it builds our emotional strength, and confidence.
Emotional Strength is our capacity to experience unpleasant feelings and to move through them.
Neuroscientists suggest that when an emotional feeling gets triggered, that chemicals are released by our brains that flush through our blood stream that activate bodily sensations, its like a biochemical Rush & Flush!
What we feel emotionally is felt in the body first, as the bodily or physical sensations, it doesn’t feel good so that’s what were trying to get away from. Its not that we don’t want to feel emotionally. WE want the whole range of feelings. We just don’t want the bodily sensations, that let us know what we’re feeling.
Ask yourself? What unpleasant feelings might you be moving away from?
1. Might it be Sadness, Shame, Helplessness, Anger, Vulnerability, Embarrassment, Disappointment, & Frustration?
2. What might be holding you back? STOP & Notice where you are experiencing it in your body?
Can you remember yourself ever saying? “I don’t want to experience that ever again” These are feelings that you want to move towards, to embrace, be it Sadness, Shame, Helplessness, Anger, Vulnerability, Embarrassment, Disappointment, & Frustration
So, what’s the SOLUTION?
It’s about riding the wave, (that biochemical Rush) Imagine riding the wave as a RUSH of ENERGY! As its lasts approx. 60- 90 secs. Which means feelings are only temporary, from the time it gets fired off in the brain through the blood stream, it begins to dissolve within 60 -90 sec! We can do 60-90 sec – Right!
Like waves on a beach, as they lap alongside the shoreline, they can come in strongly, moderately or gently as we walk along the shore line, you’ll notice that those waves just linger for a moment before they subside, and this is also true for our feelings! As they come up, they will rise, peak and fall away, just as waves form the ocean do. Waves always subside, as do our feelings too!
However, your feelings are more then ONE wave, because every time you think about that unpleasant memory, its going to fire off that same feeling!
Grief is waves of waves of feelings, anger, sadness, disappointment all mixed together, that can come up unexpectly, yet they will always subside, just like an ocean storm!
Stay present to the experience.
Surf those 90 sec waves and let them ride out their course.
This will always allow you to feel centered, calm and relief. Insights will follow & with consistent practice you may be able to unhook from the old life storeis.
“Riding through waves of emotion can help you feel more comfortable within yourself over a period of time”
Let your feelings shift and enable you to head back on the path to being fully you.
Stay present, experience your feelings of Sadness, Shame, Helplessness, Anger, Vulnerability, Embarrassment, Disappointment, & Frustration
Surf those waves, t wont take years, it wont even take a day, it will take just a moment Of clock time, start right Now!
Source:You Tube Emotional Mastery: The Gifted Wisdom of Unpleasant Feelings | Dr Joan Rosenberg | TEDxSantaBarbara
